Once upon a time,
in the casino just outside the Gates of Heaven,
where many teenage angels would go for a risky night out -
a man named Doubt arrived with a frown upon his brow.
“What troubles you, Good Sir?” asked the giant, almost Troll-like Angel at the door.
“All my life I loved the cinema,
I loved life projected on a screen,
I loved imagination made visible” Doubt replied, sadly -
“but I could never decide if God loved me,
or if I was projecting that love on the screen of my world”.
The Angel Troll at the Casino door,
who was a black belt in Karate, Kung Fu and Tai Chi,
confessed he too loved the cinema -
especially the films of Bruce Lee.
“Are there cinemas in heaven?” Doubt enquired.
“Existence is a cinema” the Angel repiled, enigmatically.
“I would try my luck at the Casino tables” Doubt mused aloud,
“but having died, I have no cash”.
“That won´t be necessary, Sir” the extremely polite Angel Troll announced -
and then, and there -
the Casino Doors opened dramatically -
and suddenly Doubt could see infinite Angels laughing and dancing
to The Music of the Spheres
(a very popular band) -
and screaming with joy, and howling with disappointent, at betting tables
that stretched as far as the eye could see.
II
Doubt was greeted by the Casino´s Master of Ceremonies -
an almost Vampire-like Angel with a black top hat and cape.
“What´s your bet to be, Most Welcome Newcomer?”
the Master of Ceremonies asked Doubt, flamboyantly.
“Well that´s just it” Doubt replied,
“I can´t make up my mind!”
“Indeed a conundrum, a conundrum indeed” the Angel Vampire smiled -
for there were no words that had not been heard a thousand times
in the Casino beyond time,
just outside the Gates of Heaven.
“Try table one million and one” the Angel Vampire suggested,
reminding Doubt, somehow, of Liza Minnelli in Cabaret.
“A great film, that” Doubt mumbled to himself,
as he made his way to table one million and one.
“Here I undertand money does not make the world go round” Doubt said, cleverly,
to the Angel with sparkling white teeth, and shapely, seductive wings
who span the wheel at table one million and one.
“Here the coin is one´s Will” the gorgeous Angel replied, flashing a smile.
“Well I still don´t know whether to bet that God loves me,
or (loving projection, as I do, or did),
whether that´s just a self-soothing projection” Doubt doubted.
“I see, I see!” the Angel said, with genuine compassion -
“well, you could always bet on the Joker”.
The Joker was a tiny, magical, almost Fairy-like Angel
who sat curled in the corner of every Casino table -
who never spoke except when spoken to -
yet who, the Gorgeous Angel explained, when spoken to
could show you your question
as you´d never seen it before.
“Well I´ll bet on the Joker then” Doubt said, without doubting,
“becuase I´m at my wit´s end!”
And so it was that,
once upon a time...
a Fairy Angel grew and grew and grew -
and disappeared -
and in its stead -
in the space its presence had emptied -
there appeared
none other than
God.
The Music of the Spheres went silent.
The screaming and howling at the tables that stretched as far as the eye could see
stopped.
And the infinite Angels in the Casino just outside the Gates of Heaven
all bowed down, graciously -
full of nothing but gratitude and praise.
“Hello Doubt” said God, to Doubt.
“Hello” Doubt replied, shyly.
“Do you have a question for me?” God asked Doubt, directly.
“Yes” Doubt replied, more confidently now -
“how do I know this is not a projection?”
“Precisely!” said God, absolutely delightedly –
and then also disappeared.
Doubt glanced over at the corner of the betting table.
The Fairy Angel Joker had returned.
“Thank you” Doubt said, sincerely.
“My pleasure” the Fairy Angel replied in a tiny voice.
“I don´t know what I´m going to bet on” Doubt said,
but now I know, without a doubt,
I have to bet.”
*
Mark Josephs,
"Mark the Mystic Activist"
Aragon, Spain
Summer, 2024
This poem is from the (very expanded) third edition of "Love & Revolution"
(the foundational text of The Conscious Tribes Project)
due out later this year.
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Image by Volodymyr Melnyk
www.dreamstime.com
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